Softball is a non-contact sport, right up until you make contact with the dirt, the fence, the bag, or a teammate. A field report from the training room.
Rounded second like a man with plans, planted like a man without them. Burbank Fire showed up in full kit before the third base coach could finish yelling to go.
"I'm fine. Where's my beer."
Six weeks in the boot. Three weeks of Instagram sympathy. One post-game beer administered as pain management.
Ran a 4.9 down the line, pulled up at 4.95. Two Juicers had to carry him off the field like a wounded emperor being escorted from the coliseum.
"I felt young for exactly four steps."
Two weeks of foam roller shame. Returned as a pinch runner for singles only. Refuses to stretch. Will do this again.
Beat the throw, no question. Left about six square inches of himself on the basepath as collateral. Somehow still scored.
"That's just dirt, right? Right?"
Neosporin, a fresh sock, and a beer. Back in the lineup the next inning. Scar is now part of the scouting report.
"The recommended treatment for softball injuries is ice, elevation, and a post-game beer. In that order. Or any order. We're not doctors."
